Friday 20 May 2016

Walking the dog

I'm sitting with the my laptop on my knee, can of pop in hand and music on.

MrsC is out socialising with Sarah, Gingers out painting the town red and Gracie, who know's where she is. Peanut's asleep and Flossy took herself to bed about 20 minutes ago.

Lotty's sat reading a book and I'm watching her. She should go to bed, I should send her. Lotty's tuning into a proper little pal.

Lotty and I walked the dog this week and she told me about a girl in her class who called a black boy the worst name you can call a black boy.

'Was he ok?' I asked, 'oh yeah, it used to happen in his old school' she said as a matter of fact. Until the boy arrived last year Lotty had been the only black child in the school.

We talked some more, about this and that, about what it means and why its not nice. I explained stereotypes and prejudice.  She got it and we she talked about when she was in reception the boy who was frightened to sit next to her in case he accidentally touched her skin and it rubbed off. We talked some more and for the first time I told her of my worries that I can't help her with some of this stuff.  It was head knowledge for me not lived experience and that she may experience prejudice from all kinds of places.  Lotty wasn't too phased by all of this, Lotty is convinced that she is loved.
As we walked the sun dropped and the shadows grew long. I told her about my fears and worries when I was asked to adopt her, how I hoped to be the best I could be and would help her however I could. We talked about this and that and the price of chips.

We return to the same topics again and again as our children grow, thorny prickly issues and we peal back the layers a little further each time as understanding develops.

I think we'll be fine.


  1. I felt quite emotional reading this. Your daughter sounds lovely and your honesty in talking with her is really touching. I think the best thing is always to keep talking, as you've mentioned in your post, to keep talking and coming back to difficult issues and somehow we will find a way through.

  2. Thank you for commenting. She's a star and we're walking this path together, the highs and the lows.