Friday, 12 September 2014

What is understood need not be discussed

Before I start I apologise for the cryptic nature of this blog, feel free to be unimpressed

I appear to have three types of people in my life.

Type A - Those who don't understand, prefer not to understand and will never understand, sometimes they appear to understand but if you scratch around you discover that it is a facade.

Type B - Those who understand after it is explained it to them, though I may have to re explain it to them every time I meet them.

Type C - Those who understand.

Understand what? I guess is the immediate thought. Perhaps how you answer that question classifies you.

You could substitute the phrase "get it" for "understand", but that may not help.

Now I hope you don't find me disingenuous. There are a myriad of reasons for where you fall into my types and it is no judgement or reflection on you. It is just where I find you.

The profession or the experience of the person does not correlate to their Type. We've known post adoption workers and Social Workers who sat happily, disturbingly happy if I'm being honest, in Type A. But I've met people with no experience of adoption or children who instinctively fall into Type C.

So, what's my point.
Well, I think I'm trying to say thank you to good friends who just get it, the likes of @colourcarwen & @2outof3 and the rest of the twitter verse. Family, colleagues and friends, not a long list but a significant one. Often they just listen.

They get it, they don't have to ask, they don't need explanation. They just nod and don't feel the need to offer home spun "time is a great healer" fortune cookie wisdom. For that I'm grateful.

American surrealist Loren Adams said 'What is understood need not be discussed'.
I don't know what he's talking about but I know what I'm talking about.

If you do too then I'm sure all of this made sense.



14 comments:

  1. Sometimes it doesn't matter but sometimes being with someone that does understand can be priceless.

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  2. I couldn't agree more, a few moments with an empathic ear is a wonderful thing.

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    1. I'll explain it through a dance and movement performance for you when I next see you.

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  4. I wrote a piece some time ago called "what is it?" and you just reminded me about it. It's so simple, those who know, know and those that don't, don't.

    Thanks for sharing on #WASO

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  5. I'm worried now in case I've read it and subliminally plagiarised you.

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  6. I agree with you 100%, I'm going to start directing certain people in my life to this post! mypostadoptionlife.blogspot.com

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  7. Thanks for the thoughts about my quotation: "What is understood need not be discussed" It's more relative if the statement is put in context––even though this remark applies to so many different situations.
    During the Sammy Hagar (The Red Rocker) days of Van Halen AKA Van Hagar - I was often on the tour as special effects Artist doing Art projects for Sammy. I painted drum-heads, guitars that ended up in Planet Hollywood, and stage shoes etc. I was just one of many back stage and behind the scene people. Sammy has collected my original oil paintings since 1985 and I was also the guy who married him to his wife Kari on National TV Entertainment Tonight on November 29th, 1996. In short; we're great friends. The QUOTE: is in the liner notes on the 1991 "Right Here Right Now" VH album––you know the one with the statue of Jesus in the front yard in the hurricane zone etc. Fact is I'm listed in the liner notes of several Van Hagar
    Albums.

    The question came up one evening at a party in his house here on Maui: Why is there any need to keep discussing things that have already been established anyway? To which I then said: Yes, "What is understood need not be discussed" Sammy said: Wow Loren, that's it!
    The next thing I knew it was published on the cover of the little black booklet in the "Right Here Right Now" album and the rest is history.

    Now just for the record here's the origin of that thought: In his book "The Laughter of God" walter C. Lanyon made this similar statement which I took to heart:

    "Once we know something there's no need to go over it again and again"

    My quote is that thought after mulling it over in my own head for many years––because yes, it is an interesting thought provoking thought.

    Thanks Al Coates, for the prompt. Mahalo Sincerely, Loren Adams

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    1. As you can imagine I'm a little gobsmacked that you have commented on my little post in my little corner of the internet. There is no way in the world as a a teenager listening to the Van Halen album that one day this bizarre link would have been made. Thank you for taking the time and effort to give the background to the quote and share your story. The quote has rattled round my head on and off for years and seemed appropriate for this post so thank you for your inspired moment.
      Stay well.
      Al

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