Saturday, 18 February 2017

Blogs of Adoptive Dads Linky No.1 #BADlinky

There are lots of adoptive dads out there so I thought I'd host a link up to pull us all together in one place.

So, welcome to the first Blogs for Adoptive Dad linky the...................#BADlinky


Serious, funny, sad, tragic, poignant whatever, if you're a dad and you've adopted or fostered, thinking of adopting or in the process of adopting then add your post to the #BADlinky through the button below.  Don't mind if they're old or new. Look at the others and leave a nice comment and we'll all be happy.

In fact I don't really mind if your a mum who does 'dad' things or a mum who has thoughts on dads all are welcome.

It will be open til midnight on Monday as this is the first one then 5pm Friday to midnight Sunday's.
I'll tweet them out and we'll have some fun!



Fostering & Adoption Podcast - Episode 10 Trauma & Attachment


This week we have an interview with Dr Marie Kershaw. She is an Senior Chartered Clinical Psychologist with almost 15 years experience working with adopted and fostered children and young people specifically in relation to attachment and trauma.

Scott and I struggled to rise to our usual giddy heights of banter sure to the interesting and engaging topic as well as being on our best behaviour, but fear not we'll be back.




We can also be found on the Apple App Store here

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/adoption-fostering-podcast/id1164600703?mt=2

Of course if you were to leave a review there I'd be forever grateful.





Friday, 17 February 2017

5 more minutes

I want five more minutes of your time.

I want you to ask you complete the following survey on Continual Professional Development for child and family Social Workers in relation to Permenance (Adoption, Long term Fostering, SGOs, kinship care and children who return home). Its looking to gather the views of families touched by the above. It doesn't ask all the questions I'd ask and some of the questions seem a little off point. However, there's some stuff that's relevant for many. 

I don't work for Mott MacDonald or have any vested interest but it is in my interests as an adoptive dad to fill this in



Every day I see comments on Twitter and Facebook that reflect on the skills of Social Workers, not all good and not all bad. I know where the gaps are and you don't have to look far in my blog to see where I've highlighted them.
I still wake in the night screaming with astonishment at the day we taught our support SW attachment theory. That was a long time ago.



We adopters often have to raise our voices and I'm asking you to give five more minutes. I can't promise the outcome but it's worth a try. If we can move the conversation 1% in the right direction then that's worth it. 

The survey is here





Wednesday, 15 February 2017

2016 Child on Parent Violence Survey - The Impact on Parents

This week we're releasing the second report generated from the Child on Parent Violence Survey 2016. To be honest like a lot of research it often confirms what we already know and with this one focusing on the impact of living with Child on Parent Violence on parents, carers, guardians, foster carers and family members there are few surprises. But to say that is an injustice, many experience #CPV and the impacts can be insidious, enduring and destructive.

Dr Wendy Thorley has written up the data and produced the report. It can be downloaded here -

'CPV Exploratory Exercise- The Impact on Parents'

In our lives CPV precipitated me leaving work and a chain of events that leads me to where I am, that's a condensed version of events but only now can I reflect on the impact of that time. I'm blessed with a fairly robust psyche and can take some punishment, or so I thought. I didn't realise that there was a knot in my stomach every day 'til it had gone. I didn't realise that I lay barely asleep each night waiting for the sounds that would indicate that the fight was about to start 'til I had a nights respite and slept soundly. The ripples are lifelong, relationships are severed and physical and mental health is impacted.

CPV remains a taboo, with multiple, complex and nuanced reasons fuelling it solutions are not easy to find. However, even though solutions are not easy to come by even in discussing it in the open we are able to shine a light that will bring relief to many.

Read the report and share if you can. Share with your Social Worker and let's continue to push to raise awareness and to seek out affective and appropriate support and intervention.  




Again, thank you for participating.









Thursday, 9 February 2017

Life Story

We returned to the story.

Another layer of the story needs to be revealed, same information, same story just a little more depth a little more context and a little more grit.

Like this post, I've been here before, same phrases, same analogy, same story, just deeper. We took a deep breath and talked, actually I took the deep breadth. For her it was nothing new just a progression. Bigger words, a more nuanced conversation leaving behind the simple euphemisms.
Her questions were new and they revealed a new understanding, the little girl fading and the teenager coming into focus.


We always said no revelations, no surprises, no shocks. I've had a lot of conversations, with a lot of children, we've never shied away from the truth but opened the door to it before it broke in.

A few years back when the eldest read her file she sobbed, not because of any revelation it was just seeing her story in black and white on paper, tangible, true. I dread to think what would have happened that day if we'd hid the truth.

Today went well, as well as these things can.



The next day I sat with Peanut and we laughed about the funny names she had for us the day she moved in, and we start the process again.

Saturday, 4 February 2017

Fostering & Adoption Podcast Episode 9 - An interview with Maria Catterick founder of the FASD Network

In this episode I speak to Maria Catterick, Social Worker, Foster Carer and founder of the FASD Network. We discuss her journey to setting up the network, Feotal Alcohol Spectrum Dosorder (FASD) and the challenges that parents and carers face as the care for children who live with the preventable condition. 


The FASD Network can be found here:






As always Scott Casson Rennie and I dicuss the interview and other matters including the recent Adoption Support Fund announcement all interspersed with whit and banter. 

You can subscribe or listen via iTunes as well here 

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/adoption-fostering-podcast/id1164600703?mt=2

And of course if you leave a review I can show my mam how good it is!