I'm marvellous, an über adopter, a member of the elite forces of the adoption world, no one can resist my knowledge and logic, they must yield. I'm an adoption wünderkind, I'm blogger of the bleeding year and the bleeding year before that, I'm a social worker, I'm a grown up! They do yield, having seen the error of their ways. I'm gracious in victory, offer to share my insight and knowledge with them and their team and they gratefully agree.
It's three o'clock in the morning and I'm rehearsing another meeting with another professional. Words racing around my head again. I fall into an uneasy sleep and wake tired. I'm such a fantasist, I'm pretty sure it's going to be tricky and I've got a knot in my stomach again. I visit the toilet, then again. I can't even remember why I called the meeting, my blood was up about something, my blood is now very down!
I wish we'd scheduled this meeting for 3 am, I was on fire! But alas no. It's just stupid old me, sloppy unconvincing words and half baked arguments as I give in to my sense of intimidation, I prattle on in an ineffectual way about this and that. I've become the definition of pathetic, they take pity and show mercy. They've got some good ideas, mine are pretty lame.
I go home, thank goodness that's over. I might start a blog about gardening.