Thursday, 13 April 2017

They all go in the end

Lots of thoughts sloshing around this week, remnants of last week and being too busy perhaps.
We're ticking along ok. I mean like lot's of families our 'ok' isn't your standard cookie cutter Disneyesque ok with unfettered joy and squeaky clean behaviour. You know what I mean, no-one called the police, no-one got hurt. Result.

Anyway, I'm off the point. 

We found out that a professional is leaving our world. Another one gone.
Universally accepted as knowing what they were on about and genuinely stepping in at breaking point and holding it all together she will be missed. Her words brought hope to perhaps the least hopeful moment of our parenting lives. At one point I thought she actually was Nanny McPhee. 

But, she's off. No chance to say goodbye just gone, it would have been nice to say ta ta but sooner or later they all have to go. 

I started to count how many qualified Social Workers we've had across our door. 
18 allocated or involved. 

We cried with one when she left, went for a drink with another, slammed the door behind a few, recored an interrogation with one and in the beginning tidied up for them coming. Some have moved onto bigger and better things, others retired, others just went away. They all go in the end.

In my interview with Hugh T I asked what holds the future for adoption and he said many things, one that stuck was the need for enduring and potentially lifelong partnerships that adopters need to accept with services that support us and our children.  

That wasn't part of my plan when I set off, but it clearly is how the plan is unfolding. We're sad to see our latest go, I could have built a partnership with her, I fear it may not be so easy to build a partnership with a service rather than a person. I wonder if services have the capacity to build enduring and lifelong partnerships with us? I don't know. 

They do all go in the end but we remain,  I'll always be an adopter long after they've retired

Anyway, goodbye Nanny McPhee. We wish you well and thank you for what you've left, a belief that there is a way through. She pointed to it and left hope, a little hope goes a long long way. 

Yes, they do all go in the end but some of them leave a little something behind.  


  1. We have lost count how many we have had too. Years ago the Minis were terrified they were going to be taken away. Now they have learnt that doesn't happen, but don't even try to remember their names. We have seen so many come and go, one even came back. Passed from pillar to post. Me, I am still here!

  2. Lost count of the amount of social workers we were glad to see go....but frustrated by those we liked and wanted that working relationship with. We always felt that great social workers or those with great potential hesitated too much in legalistic bureaucratic nonsense and never relaxed with us.....come in and relax I used to think, we like you you are in the right job and you will learn so much personally as well if you partner with us.....such a shame when after 8months or 12 months they move on. I was struck by you interview with Hugh T....sadly I feel his vision does not resonate with The Departments...but it's a nice thought. What it has done is challenge me to consider how I connect with the people and families and children I work with. Nice blog Mr A thank you....and so for your loss, let's have a cup of tea.