Definition

It's been a funny old week, as always there's lots going on I've been here and there doing this and that.  

What made it unusual was meeting people who where from as far away from this world as you can get. We talked and they asked me questions about how I came to end up where I am today.

Crickey, what a question, I'm not sure how to answer that. Sitting there I was struck at how every corner of my life is filled with all things adoption.

We knew adopting would be a big decision when we made it back in 1998 but I hadn't anticipated that it would define almost every aspect of the rest of my life. Having children generally changes a lot but for some of us adopters it changes everything.
Literally everything.
The house and location of the house that I live were all defined by the needs of my children. I do the job I do because I've been drawn into this world, the employers I chose were chosen because they get 'it'. Natural selection has laid across a large part of my friendship groups with getting 'it' sorting the wheat from the chaff. In the extreme I've invited those who wilfully and persistently didn't get 'it' to not return until they did. They did.

Getting 'it' is probably the most valuable commodity in my life, I'll not rehash my 'getting it' post*, but the short hand that cuts through all of the words and history is valuable beyond belief.

The books I read and the social media I engage with is all in someway linked by this thread. Almost every evening I chip away at something. Emails to this person and that person all to try and move the discussion forward, CPV, policy, opportunities and feedback.

On the train home last night I pondered all of this and more and wondered if I was drowning in it all and wondered who I even was and how I had ended up here, it certainly hadn't been my plan. It's funny how a little conversation with strangers can send you down a thought rabbit hole.

But as I write this I realise that for all that my life is woven into and defined by adoption most of my efforts and energies are to try and ensure that my children's lives are not defined by their adoption. Suddenly it all makes sense.

Today I'm going to chop logs, cut the grass, play with the kids, walk the dogs and pretend to be normal.



*Strangely, my second most read post of all.