The issue is never the issue. Pretty obvious I guess.
I'm struggling to think what else to say, after days of attrition, name calling, refusal, attitude, sibling insults and unkindness we finally get to the crux of it. I guess we always had a rough idea what was going on, but these things take time. Like detectives we piece together clues from here and there.
We deal with the anger about this or that, sperficial frothy rage pointed at some inconsequential nonsense, 'I don't want to clean my room!'. We crack that one knowing that this issue is not the issue.
Each layer gets closer to the crux of this particular cycle of rage and darkness. We pass though the superficial issues toward our ultimate goal.
And when we get there we are always confronted with the same thing, a little girl frightened, anxious, worried and confused. The same predictable stuff, this time it's school. The nuances of peer relationships and interactions are a foreign language. Social resilience is non existent.
After it had all blown over I drove up to the school drop off point and she got out. It's like feeding her to wolves, my heart sank knowing this is the first term of her first year with 14 more terms to go. School have been fantastic and the 20 mile round trip is justified but I'm worried for her and I'm worried for us.