Thursday 1 September 2016

Adoption on the telly

I went the the pictures to see The BFG on Sunday with Lotty. Clearly I must be the only person in the land who doesn't know the story. Though I enjoyed it I confess to feeling a little wearied by the usual plucky orphan stereotype. A fully resolved adulty/child orphan that finds beautiful adult/saintly type adoptive parents narrative. I'm just so over that,  is so far removed from my knowledge and understanding that it borders on insulting.

Of course it's classic children's fiction so I put all those feelings in my box marked boring old fart and suspend belief. I mean I cry like a baby at Annie, both versions, so I'm pretty good at putting my feelings aside.

So, this week with a sense of duty I watched The Coopers Versus The Rest.

Hmmmm, it's not my cup of tea, I like my comedy dark and scathing, not unlike my life, and this was way too happy ever after for me. I couldn't help but think that the heartwarming scene with the children smiling in the back of the car at the end of the programme if transferred to my life would have more likely been a full blown fist fight.

But, and I've thought about this and it's an important but, there appears to be an authentic voice in its midst of all the niceness. It was all a bit resolved and as far as can be from my version of children who've experienced loss and trauma as you can get but I did get it. After I watched it I read the blurb and it had been written by an adoptee so I felt more a little better about the experience.

I can sniff out an authentic voices in blogs, Twitter feeds, articles and books. I don't have to agree or like what I read* but I do like it to be authentic and I can tolerate or respect as such. Even if the person has no connection to the subject matter they can have an authentic voice. When it's not authentic, like the fast food advert last year, then I steer clear and leave well alone.

This blog is a bit of a ramble but each day I seem to see more and more literature, training, articles, news about adoption. With talking heads, professional opinions, views and perspectives and I realise I'm always looking for authentic voices not exploitation, money making opportunities or just utter tosh.

*I'm reading a hateful book about international adoption it's full of  corruption, delusion and religion and it's authentic but I don't like it.


  1. I felt the same when I watched it! My two are only 4 and 6 but I can't imagine that my daughter would react in the same way as the eldest child in the sitcom if we banned her from the internet or caught her going to a party late at night. I found the whole programme rather saccharine really - a rather rosy view of adoption. But then, as my husband said afterwards, it is supposed to be a sitcom so I shouldn't expect a true view of life!

    1. Yeah, I don't really think that I'm the demographic they're aiming for. I pretty much agree with your view. Thanks for commenting.

  2. We haven't seen it yet; good to know. If you haven't seen Pete's dragon, that one was a bit traumatic for our 10 yr old when he realized (SPOILER ALERT) the parents died. Then 12 decided she must be the dragon and the 10yo is Pete because they were basically wild and she kept him alive. Plenty of triggers for trauma kiddos. We had good talks after, though.

  3. I haven't seen many previews but there's a new movie coming out called Storks that I wonder how it will be received by adoptive parents and children.