Thursday 18 August 2016

Their Story

Lotty: So, you know how mam and dad are not your real mam and dad well that's because you've got a real mam and dad that you can't live with. 

Peanut: Ok.

I didn't get involved but spectated from a safe distance, from the front seat of the car looking through the rear view mirror with my good eye on the road. 

The conversation went on, Lotty with the sensitivity of a jet engine spelt out pretty clearly a timeline of events for Peanut. To be fair she did moderate the information with age appropriate words and tone but she was her usual frank self. 

We're out about adoption, well and truly out. If you see us walk into a restaurant then you don't have to be a social anthropologist. From the moment we decided to adopt we've laid it all bare.

But our children's story's is their story and it's for them to share.

Sat in a beer garden we got talking to a local last week. They were fishing for the story but we've learnt the art of dodging the questions. I take no offence, people are curious and love a good story. Adoptions stories are good stories.

When the big three came we said nothing to nobody about their journey to us. We told a couple of trusted family members just for our benefit.

When people asked we said, it's their story and it's their's to share. People were nervous, 'what if they told us something?'. 'Chill' we said, 'listen and talk'.  They never said much just a few incidentals and mentions.

It's their story and their's to share.

1 comment:

  1. I used to dread the question dodging but as I'm much more comfortable with it now I quite enjoy exhibiting my skill in answering a question without actually answering it. Both about his adoption and the reasons for it.

    My particular favourite was a school Mum asking how I had managed to get Jack into the school when we lived way out of the catchment area. I just winked and said "it's not what you know but who you know". Her expression kept me amused for weeks :-)

    For the people who know he's adopted but seem to want the gruesome details, I also tell them that it's his story and it would be unfair for them to know it before him.