We had a visitor from a friend who is fostering a baby boy
Lotty: Dad, can we adopt a baby
Lotty: Mam, can we adopt a baby
MrsC : No
Together: We don't want any more children.
Lotty: We could adopt this baby like you adopted me (points to a friends foster baby).
The conversation went on and as it developed it transformed from lighthearted banter into something more serious. It became a a conversation about Lotty's life and her story. Words that meant one thing a year ago mean something different now, as she grows from little girl to big girl her understanding of her narrative develops. Like the onion the layers peal back and we get closer to the heart of stuff.
Words like 'safe' mean something more when you understand more about danger, words like 'danger' mean something more when you see them set within her developing understanding of the world she inhabits.
It got a bit fraught.................
I don't feel insecure, embarrassed or threatened. Just sad that I have to have such crappy conversations about stuff that 10 year old girls should care less about.
So of course she felt a bit fraught and it got a bit fraught..........................and why the hell shouldn't it.