How can you prepare for adoption, for a stranger, or three, to enter your life.
We were diligent on our prep course, answered the questions and entered the discussions.
We were open and honest in our home study.
We read the books and did the homework.
We sought advice and talked to those who'd walked the same path.
We discussed what we would do when this or that happened.
We jumped through all the hoops, danced to the right tune, and towed the line.
Then rather than being a good idea and a hope for the future they became names and ages, rather than what ifs and maybes.
Words on paper, descriptions from Social Workers and anecdotes and routines from foster carers.
Blurred images from a camcorder.
We studied the words, video and pictures.
Then we studied them some more and we talked and talked and talked.
Still, they existed out there, abstract and untouchable, real but not real and not the here and now.
Then they became flesh.
Exploding into our lives.
Strangers in the home, personalities and opinions, likes and dislikes, feelings and thoughts.
We were not ready.