Saturday 13 May 2017

Tears

I was at school, actually the GoodMrsC and I were both school. Our presence had been requested.

I was holding it all in trying not to sob. Blinking purposefully to maintain some semblance of control and composure.
It's been a hard week, actually it seems like most weeks are hard.


I'm concerned that I write so much about the challenges, the loss, the raa, the shouting and all the tricky moments. It's a rich vein of material that never seems to end.

Child on Parent Violence has taken up so much of the last six months, reading and writing, The CPV Survey and subsequent reports have helped to push on the conversation and often that's what people want to talk to me about, even now there's email in my inbox with questions. All important stuff and it's rewarding work.

But, I really don't want to be that 'adopter guy who goes on about CPV'. I don't want to be the defined by all of that less than ideal stuff, I don't want it to be the primary focus of my energy and writing. There has to be more. Again and again I find myself drawn to these topics, I suppose I blog to help me reflect and to gain some understanding on what goes on. Im not sure actually say that much about our lives, I blog about the dots and let others join them, I worry that they come up with a less than favourable picture.

So, I'm in school and trying to hold it all together because Peanut is Star of the Week. The text comes the night before, please come and see her be presented with her certificate in the full school assembly. I'm under no illusion that it's just her turn but I can suspend belief because she is a star. She's so wee, so perfect, my little pal, my youngest daughter and the apple of my eye.

Most of our lives is filled with the standard parenting tasks and experiences, routines, washing, homework, meals, little trips here and there. Really quite normal, pretty relentless, but a well worn path.

Today I revelled in the normal, I teared up not because of this or that or some moment of overcoming adversary fist punching as we achieve something.

I teared up because I'm a soppy dad.














2 comments:

  1. Hold onto the good moments. They are as real as any other time, if not more so because they are so hard won by the effort it took for your child to get there. Trust the school would only have given this for something deserved - there is magic in every day for every kid. All good wishes to you & your family - Sandy Butcher

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, the temptation is alway to be distracted by the less than good moments. I try to keep my eye on the good. Best wishes to you too.

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