Thursday 26 February 2015


There appears to be a determined and almost immovable halo around adoption.

Believe me I've tried to knock it off and I've tried to present my own lived adoption experience as relatively normal but I see the same enthusiastic determination in the eyes of prospective adopters that I had in mine. Aaaaaah, adoption.

In social circles eyes well up and hearts swell with sympathy at the revelation of my children's status as adopted.
Aaaw, look they're fighting. Aaaaaah, Adoption.

It rubs off on at least two sides of the adoption triangle.

So, regardless of my insisting, and Mrs C's confirmation, people refuse to believe that I'm generally a grumpy old git. How could I be, aaaaaaaah adoptive dad. Bloody halo.

I don't get asked to volunteer on adoption preparation courses. Now it might be because I talk too much but it might be because I might put them off. Don't be stupid, they've all been touched by the adoption Halo. You can almost see them think:
"It's all gone wrong for him, he must be doing something wrong. I've seen Annie, it's a doddle. Adoption always works out ok in the end"

That's the halo.
Aaaaah, Adoption.

Sometimes it's a pain, when we ask for consideration or understanding then the halo blinds people. In their minds they're thinking 'Those children have been there for years, they should be fine now. I've read Oliver Twist and he did ok'. In their eyes I'm just over an over fussing type. Aaaaaah, adoption.

If I was a cynic I'd suggest that politicians have worked this halo out.

Politician 1: 'Nasty Social Workers are slowing down adoption approval.'

Newspaper: 'Aaaaaah Adoption. Those nasty Social Workers.'

Politician 2: 'Aaaaaah Adoption. Those nasty Social Workers.'

Man on the street: 'Aaaaaah Adoption. Those nasty Social Workers.'

Politician 1: (Halo)

But I'm not complaining we managed to get money off our last family holiday because the salesman 'found out' we had six adopted children.

Aaaaaaah, adoption.


  1. Funny and true.

    I love your grumpy old gitness (as experienced through reading your blog!).

  2. So true. And I'm sure many will agree.

    Thanks, as always, for linking to #WASO x

    1. It look this way from the other side of the veil.
      Thank you for developing the #waso

  3. I can verify he is grumpy at times

  4. I can't wait to see you this week to sit at your feet and be soothed by your words of wisdom.

  5. Oh, darling. I know you're just saying that to keep me humble.

  6. So . . . wait, you're saying it's not like Annie?!

    1. Did you not watch it on your Adoption Preparation course?

  7. funneee. since adopting i've thought a lot about how culturally we're pretty terrible at dealing with anything difficult..

  8. Stiff upper lip and best not make a fuss. Cough.

  9. Brilliant and so true. Love it.

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  11. This made me howl. I used to talk at adoption prep courses regularly. I haven't been asked for a while. I probably talk too much too and I always wondered if I'd been too negative. Maybe I was :-)

    I got a free huge teddy from Dreams beds when the salesman found out we had adopted. Would have rather had money off a holiday though. Wondering whether I should start adding that on the 'requests' box you always get when you book a room online. Maybe then they'd give me a room big enough for us and our halos!

    1. Thank you for commenting. It's amazing the word adoption has on people, they glaze over and play nice. As for the holiday go for it.