Friday 22 November 2013

I want my day in court

The letter has arrived and a date has been given, the 30th January. Our Adoption Celebration Hearing has been scheduled and we will go up to the big house and see the Beak and Peanut will finally be legally embraced into our family.

This is not the first time we've had an "Adoption Celebration Hearing". After years of legal fights and wrangling, failed introductions more tears than I care to remember and a collection of scars we took Flossy and Lotty to the big house and saw the Beak. It was a good day, a milestone and an opportunity to mark the end of one chapter and the start of a new. It was an important day and we remember it fondly.

However, I confess to being a bit unimpressed. "Adoption celebration hearing" sounds a bit made up, a little bit airy fairy social worky. The real business of law has been done and dusted and this felt like an invitation to the after party, skipping the main event.

I do understand the reasons for not taking children into courts and the potential for birth family to disrupt. But......

If I turn the clock back to 2000 I recall a very different day. Mrs C and I got up early, gathered the Big one, Gracie and Ginger, and made our way to court. All of us nervous, all of us excited all of us ready for a new life. We'd all travelled a rocky path to get to this moment. We arrived early to miss the crowds, unsavoury sorts the clerk explained, and we sat before the three Beaks.
This was a big deal, our family members were not allowed in the courtroom, this was a very serious business. The chief Beak asked some appropriate questions of us all, little ones too. Our hearts were in our mouths at what response they would give. Fortunately, all questions were answered appropriately.

Then the moment came, memory has blurred the works but not the feelings and as I write my heart is pounding and I'm holding back tears.

Then the order was given.

The Big One, Gracie and Ginger were no longer the children I looked after, they where my children and I was their father, Mrs C their mother. They weren't even my adopted children, they became my children

Two families had walked into the court and one new one walked out.

I can't describe the wave of relief and joy. After the years of trials and tribulations it was done.

As I say, I enjoyed Flossy and Lotty's Celebration Hearing, it was fantastic but it was like watching the replays on tv, just a reflection of an amazing moment in court.


  1. All the best for your celebration day, what a way to start the new year!! We too are hoping that our celebration day will be soon.

    1. Why thank you very much. I hope that your day goes well, whenever it arrives.

  2. Congratulations! Our Celebration Day felt a bit strange too, but it was better than the phone call that was all we had to mark the actual court decision, so I'm glad they do it for that bit of closure and sense of occasion.

    1. Many thanks.
      After years of slog and being grilled it is a bit of an anticlimax for the final piece of the jigsaw to be placed without being present.
      But I guess the important thing is that we get to keep the prize!

  3. That will be a good way to see in the new year, congratulations. I must admit for us, the court date has never been of much importance, although obviously on the day we went and were very happy to have everything formalised. We always mark the day they came to live with us as our special day.

  4. Many thanks!
    Unfortunately , both our previous experiences were marred by protracted court cases and complications after the children had been placed. I don't think Mrs C or I felt we could fully relax until the orders were made.
    However, with Peanut we've had none of that and it seems like an aside and not as significant.

  5. I remember the judge saying something awesome like, "Today, we are making lawful what is already true in fact." Can't wait for our second day in court to come.

  6. At our last hearing the Judge looked at the children and then looked us all in the eye and said 'what you have is real treasure'. He cut to the heart of the issue, rather profound.
    Good look with your second day. I would imagine the court process in the US is rather different from the UK.