Champion
Before I go any further this is all about me, not you, so if you read this and think I'm having a dig at you then you've well and truly got the wrong end of the stick. If you think it's about an organisation, and there are a couple that use the word, you're missing my point because I hold no ill will or bear any animosity at all. This is about how I feel. Me.
I've started this blog time after time month after month but struggled to put into words how I feel about potentially being called an 'Adoption Champion'. If you know me you'll know I've worked hard to duck the title on several occasions and mainly because it was just a feeling of unease that I struggled to put into words. More to the point I struggled to get to the bottom of why I felt the unease.
I've tried to verbalise my feelings on several occasions with different people failed dismally and come away from the conversation feeling like a pedant* or a lilly livered liberal, I mean it's only a name for heaven's sake.
I support and participate in the work that many of the 'champions' are doing, advocating for adopters and adoptees. The promotion of awareness of the reality of adoption and chipping away down the constant disneyfication of adoption in popular perceptions and media. In that regard I'm all in. It's just that word.
I've talked to adoption 'Champions' who embrace the name and that's fine I don't want to project or transfer my unease.
Today, it finally came to me as I sat on the train.
Champion is an overwhelmingly positive term and to link it to social construction that at it's heart is born from catastrophic loss is the crux of my unease. I just can't reconcile the two.
*The good MrsC will read this and say 'you're just being an colossal arse' and she might have a fair point.
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I'm a new "champion". I see two meanings to the word. The first, being a winner - which I feel doesn't support our survival through loss. The second, being a fighter for a cause - which we most definitely are. To champion a cause is to speak out for, on behalf of, others or a belief. We are championing our rights and needs as adoptive parents and the rights and needs of our children.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely and the idea of championing the cause is something that I've pondered at length. I'm again uneasy with the lack of specifics as I what aspect of adoption am I championing? The separation of children and placement in families? of course for many adoption is the best possible outcome in challenging and heartbreaking circumstances and that applies to adoptees and adopters. So, I'm not sure. I'm comfortable 'championing' a person just not an abstract thing I suppose. Perhaps I think too much.
ReplyDeleteI guess, in my eyes, I'm championing the rights of us as adoptive families. We're not "typical" in our needs and people, normally those who should be supporting us, don't get this. To have the opportunity to potentially kick some authoritative butt is a pleasant one ;)
DeleteDon't worry about thinking too much, maybe worry you have a typically female brain ;) (That's normally my role in our house lol.)